Tuesday, December 13, 2011

...to have a morning cup of coffee with some new friends

...what a nice, relaxing morning.

Since I have been here I have been a little bit 'bah humbug' about meeting some friends for myself.  I have talked with some of the neighborhood ladies and I have gone to a few of the 'wives coffees' but for the most part I have been very content to do my own thing.

I think meeting new friends when you move to a new duty location is a little bit like dating.

First, you have 'first impression'.  Was this person welcoming?  Did they bring you warm muffins from the oven?  Did you meet them because your son pushed hers off the monkey bars (generally NOT a good first impression...what kind of parent are you am I anyway!)?  Did she list her husband's resume instead of asking you your first name?

Next there is 'the common denominator'.  What do I have in common with this person?  What ages are your children?  Do they go to the same school?  Are they about the same age?  Do your husband's work together (oh yea, and do they like one another?)?  Do either of you work?

There is another level to the common demoninator....Do your children participate in the same activities? (Chance of friendship developing increases exponentially.)  Do you live VERY close to one another?  Can you run between each other's houses easily?  Are your husband's on a similar schedule?  This was a big deal at other places I have lived...some ladies have the husband who comes home daily around 3 (Well ain't that peaches!) in the afternoon; these ladies were not as likely to stay at the park until 5.  For the record, mine always did his best to make it in time for dinner; I am not going to lie...I would have wanted him to come home at 3.

Finally, there is yet another level to making friends: If none of factors I listed above are present than BOTH parties must be willing to meet in the middle.  And lets be honest, life is very busy.  We all have our own commitments and our own crosses to bear.

By the time I have left every post I always have left behind dear friends.  I know that this post will be no different.  I just haven't really wanted to put in any effort to meet anyone.  Besides, I have Amy here and frankly, I have come to really adore her and her family.  She is all I need.  But my sweet girls could use a few more playmates and well...I thought the holidays would provide the perfect chance to have some of the ladies over that I would love to get to know better.

It was very low-stress (well for them).  And now that it is over (and just what I needed) I am so content because my home is clean and decorated now I feel so much less stress and ready for the holidays...

It was a lovely morning.  I can feel the bonds beginning to develop with a few ladies.  Ladies, that I might not otherwise have gotten to know because our children are not the same age, the same sex, and don't even attend the same schools.  Ladies whose husbands are around and don't work with mine (probably even better).  The girls have a few new playmates to call their friends and I feel good that I took a step forward to get myself a little more settled here.

I still mourn the loss of West Point.  I dearly miss the easy bonds that were formed amongst my children and the neighbor kids from our last neighborhood.  I miss our best friends.  But the reality is, that even if we are lucky enough to someday return to that lovely post, all of my friends will have moved on.

That is a certainty in this Army life...

So I'll continue to nurture my old friendships from all of the places I have lived and begin to build a few new ones.

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